It seems that the sweet Cambria likes boys who are quite feminine.
But it will be too easy to be a carachter like in those couples where
you always say: "who's the girl ?" I must find something more subtle.
For all the other things, it should be ok, except for the tatoos. But are sailors really look like gay people ??? So i'll not choose an anchor ; maybe a little bird in the neck with fangs. Kind of "vampire from freedom".

Preparation :

I have to see through my always-useful-crystal-ball once again. Opening my eyes wide 
I call her : Caaaambriia.....Caaaaambriiiiia.......CAMBRIA !
She appears. She's on the beach...very nice. It seems I made the good choice :)

I call her again : Caaaambriia.....Caaaaambriiiiia.......CAMBRIA !
She's there again. Oh my God, is she the same girl ? Her hair is now long with full reflects
of a brighting light comming from nowhere. And now she's peacefully smilling like she were in
these dreams with those little chinese sounds comming from another dimension
(ok, the same as you open a chinese restaurant door). I really made the good choice.

I can't stop looking at her when she disappears. It's like a drug, i must call her again :
Caaaambriia.....Caaaaambriiiiia.......CAMBRIA !
Incredible ! She's now black haired with her big eyes, looking like a mix of Snow White and a doe.
I definitly made THE good choice. She has so different kind of head and expressions, she should
be an actress. Oh, i have an idea. A wonderfull idea. The best idea i ever had ! If it doesn't
work, i quit.

For the first part of my diabolic plan, i must be a vampire : a gay vampire. A kind of character as the Count Von Krolock's son in "dance of the vampires" sounds good. I just need a new blond wig, a kind of ridiculous old-fashioned blue suit with lace and a black pen to do my tatoo. I also need Varney, expecting that this time he'll no doing my plan fail...pray for me...

Time to send a mail to Varney ,to annouce my venue, and to sell this message to Cambria:
" The english outlaw moovie maker Varney is proud to announce you that you have been pre-selectionned to be the star of his next vampire moovie, starring Froggy. You'll recive soon by snail-mail your free plane ticket to go to the casting."
"next" moovie...make me laugh !

So now i must find the plane ticket. I ask my friends to buy it for my birthday. It will change from the crappy vodka bottles they always offer me...
Everything is ready, i can fly to London now. It is so perfect...if it doesn't work, i quit !

The Plan

Cambria is now there. I wanted to cook her my famous duck but my always-usefull-crystal-ball told me she were vegetarian. So we choose a restaurant. And she doesn't seems to be really attract by myself, wearing that ridiculous coat and wig. Nevermind, the plan is perfect.

I (le Bela Lugosi de Paris; ok really this time) am naturally playing the Byronic Vampire.
The beautiful Cambria must of course play his innocent victim !

The location is our favourite one, Abney Park.  The actors assemble. Varney have my stills camera to take the 'tests'...perhaps she will not notice that it is a Kodak instamatic.  Or maybe I could sacrifice my rare and expensive Cannon in a good cause. No. Varney will break it !

We find a lonely spot.  No one around except a few 'Peeping Toms' who we ignore. The scene commences...I must seduce the reluctant Cambria.
I kiss her. I pretend to enjoy it. 
"More feeling...More passion!" screams the Director aiming his instamatic. The kissing grows more passionate, more intense.  "Kiss her hair...her neck...her breasts!" urges the director.

Cambria realises that this is a test for a porno movie.  But it is too late!  She is already too aroused by my passionate kisses; she is swept away on a storm of lust and the two lovers sink into each other's arms beneath the gravestones as Dr. M sneaks discretely away to join the rest of the Peeping Toms...

I have to say that if it didn't work i had something else :

As above up to a point.  If Cambria fails to respond to my passionate kisses, the Director shouts: "Very good, Cambria...now take off your knickers and show us your lovely petit derriere!"  Cambria either :
a) takes her knickers off
or b) more likely, is outraged and disgusted...
If (b), I jump to his feet and says, "How dare you insult my friend the lovely Cambria, you English cochon!"  I raises my fist threateningly and the cowardly director retreats and falls over a
gravestone.  I put my arm round Cambria protectively and says, "I am sorry, my dear.  I didn't know. Let me take you away from this disgusting pervert...."  Cambria leans gratefully against i as our hero leads her away to safety. 
I have rescued her and she will reward me in the best way she can.